Commitment

I’ve made a loose resolution. I want to start writing more often; with more frequency and more regularly. Ultimately, I want this to be a habit-forming experience, an expression you probably don’t hear being used too positively.

I’ve realized that my writing has stalled as I wait for the right “mood” or “inspiration” to strike me. But the problem is, if you never put your words out there, then none of them are going to lead to something more. I have to write more because when I write more, I’m more likely to create something worth keeping, improving upon and sharing with other people.

Whether this habit because a daily activity, a bi-weekly activity or just a weekend experience, I need my body to get into a natural rhythm so I can begin to just create when I want to.

I’m tired of sitting and waiting for the right mood to strike me. Waiting three weeks to sit down and write out a few pages that I won’t touch again for days. And to say that I want to be a screenwriter, this is sort of upsetting and shaming. How the hell am I ever going to pursue this if I can’t make a commitment? I need to let go and just chase after this with whatever I have. This is the first time when I’ve felt that I have something worth going after, something worth dedicating myself to rather than just going through the motions.

Who knows if this is really what I want to do with my life, but for now, I’m finally passionate about something and I don’t want to let that slip away.